When the outside world is a safer place than your own home.

El, a young woman living in Melbourne’s western suburbs, believed she was on the path to starting a family with her long-term partner, James. Initially, their relationship seemed strong, but over time, El noticed controlling and demeaning behaviour.

James would belittle her, and despite blaming herself, the situation only worsened. A turning point came when James began throwing and breaking things in their home, intimidating her. This marked El’s first attempt to leave, just after Melbourne’s lockdowns had eased.

Despite her effort to break free, El returned to James, hoping he had acknowledged his behaviour and would change. However, the violence continued, unpredictable and escalating. James convinced El to keep everything secret, particularly from her family.

When El became pregnant, the situation took a severe toll on her mental health, exacerbated by the ongoing abuse. Seeking help from a doctor, she confided in them about the violence at home. Though the physical violence stopped for periods, the verbal and emotional abuse persisted, making it difficult for El to maintain her mental well-being during pregnancy. She even spent time in a psychiatric ward, where she felt safer than in her own home.

As her due date approached, it became clear that it was unsafe for El to remain with James. After multiple unsuccessful attempts to leave, El finally made the difficult decision to walk away for good. James was present for the birth of their daughter, Arcadia, but his anger resurfaced, prompting midwives to ask him to leave the hospital.

Referrals were made to The Orange Door and the Caroline Chisholm Society. Though El stayed in the hospital for an extended period, she eventually returned home with baby Arcadia, hoping for a fresh start. Unfortunately, James’ aggression soon returned, and after a few days, El fled for the final time with police involvement.

With nowhere else to go, El moved between family and friends, trying to rebuild her life. Although hesitant to file an intervention order due to James’ threats, she eventually applied after a breach of child protection protocols. Now, James only sees Arcadia during supervised visits, and court proceedings are ongoing.

Throughout this challenging period, the Caroline Chisholm Society (CCS) stepped in to provide comprehensive support for El and her daughter. Nicolle, a CCS Practitioner, helped El access the financial support she was entitled to as a single parent, accompanying her to Centrelink to ensure she received the proper payments. Nicolle also visits weekly to check in on El’s well-being.

Baby Arcadia has benefited from the clothes, toys, and other essentials provided by the Society, and El recalls fondly their visit to the CCS Santa Shop, where they were able to take a family photo and choose meaningful gifts for Arcadia. These moments have brought some joy and normalcy back into their lives.

Recognising the emotional challenges El faces, particularly around holidays and significant events, Nicolle has provided El with the space and support to navigate these difficult times. El has also completed the ‘Circle of Security’ parenting course through CCS, which has helped her develop her parenting skills. Additionally, a Paediatric First Aid course offered by the Society has given El more confidence in caring for Arcadia, who has a few health concerns.

Today, El and Arcadia are a happy, safe family of two. El is deeply grateful for the support she has received from the Caroline Chisholm Society, describing it as an enriching experience that has provided her with all-around care and support from a compassionate team of practitioners.